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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23368393">Back.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/octovoid128/pseuds/octovoid128'>octovoid128</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Mechanisms (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Nastya's back babey, and she's going to have a serious conversation with her girlfriend!, her friends are here to support her, post-TBI</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:16:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,097</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23368393</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/octovoid128/pseuds/octovoid128</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nastya isn't sure how she's come back to the Mechanisms... to the Aurora. All she knows is that she should never have left.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nastya Rasputina &amp; The Mechanisms, The Aurora/Nastya Rasputina</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>154</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Mechs Fic Exchange</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Back.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorMinerva/gifts">SailorMinerva</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For the prompt "Nastya comes back! (preferable after TBI but up to you.") This idea possessed me and would not let go so please accept 2k of Nastya being comforted by friends old and new. Hope you like it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When the airlock eases open, all she can see are weapons pointed at her. That was probably to be expected. She knows them well enough, even after all this time, to know they’d be suspicious of someone hijacking their airlock in the middle of deepspace. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Honestly, Nastya isn’t even sure how she did that. She’s so oxygen-deprived she can’t remember how she even ended up there. All she has on her is the last part of the original Aurora, tucked safely by her heart in the breast pocket of her coat. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to throw it into a star, as she had intended when she left.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The crew is silent as they stare at her. Even Aurora seems to be holding her breath, so still is she beneath Nastya’s feet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jonny is the first to lower his gun, which is not something Nastya ever thought she would see in a million eternities. As it is, it’s not really a lowering so much as a throwing as he tosses it to the ground and strides towards her. She prepares for him to hit her, to grab her by the throat and choke away her newly regained oxygen. She expects him to be mad at her for leaving and to show that anger the only way he knows how: lashing out. Violence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She doesn’t expect him to seize her around the middle and bury his face into her shoulder. And she doesn’t really expect to find herself wrapping her arms around him in return, but it feels like home and it feels </span>
  <em>
    <span>safe</span>
  </em>
  <span> and she regrets for the millionth time in all the decades she’s been away that she ever left at all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looks up at the others over Jonny’s shoulder. They all look a little uncomfortable, which is understandable given how rare it is to see Jonny show affection so openly and given the terms she’d parted on. They’ve all lowered their weapons, though, so she takes that as a good sign.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually, Jonny shoves her away from him with a scowl, and she can’t tell if he’s on the verge of laughter or tears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> have you been? I thought you weren’t coming back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wasn’t planning to.” Nastya looks at her feet. “Not when I left.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then why the hell did you come back?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She flinches a little at the harshness in his voice, even though she knows he doesn’t mean it like that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I should never have left in the first place.” The confession burns, but only because she knows it’s the truth. She’d had a lot of time to think about it, adrift in space. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That thought gives her a slight chill. She thinks she understands Brian a little better now. And she appreciates Aurora even more, which she hadn’t originally thought possible. Aurora, for her part, is still quiet beneath her. The silence hurts more than the cold ever did. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Brian, mercifully, is the one who breaks the lull in the conversation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How long were you out there for? Do you mind if we take a look at you, make sure everything is still functioning up to speed?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nastya is surprised when “we” ends up meaning Brian and Raphaella, but she guesses it makes sense that Marius wouldn’t want to play doctor for her. And she certainly trusts Brian and Raphaella more in terms of making sure she’s actually healthy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sits uncomfortably on the cold metal of one of Raphaella’s work benches as they both run tests. She’s pretty sure she’s fine, if a bit disoriented. Hopefully that will subside. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Brian takes her blood pressure as Raphaella sorts through centuries-old records that Carmilla kept, just to make sure everything is normal for someone who has mercury for blood.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nastya tunes a lot of it out until Brian sits beside her and asks if he can put an arm around her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He does just that and lets her lean into him. For someone mostly made of metal, he’s surprisingly warm, and she can hear the soft whirring of gears in his chest. It’s nice to be able to hear something other than her own thoughts again, and to feel something other than the cold of the void or the heat of the nearest star searing into her flesh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raphaella sits on the other side of her and Nastya doesn’t know how to lean into both of them at once so she sort of rocks awkwardly between the two of them, trying to absorb as much of their warmth and company as she can. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She’s not sure when she falls asleep, but she wishes that she hadn’t. Everything is so quiet. She wishes Aurora would hum, vibrate, do </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> but be so horribly quiet. She awakes in a fit of tears to find Ashes at her side. Ivy is in the corner, pretending to read, but Nastya knows her well enough to see that she is watching out of the corner of her eye.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashes holds her just as softly as Brian and Raphaella did, letting her spill her tears into their pinstripe vest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is just like old times, ain’t it?” Ashes laughs into her hair, and Nastya nods. It does feel very familiar. “You know what to do, then?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait it out?” Nastya hates how small her voice sounds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ashes nods sagely. “It’ll blow over. And you’ll work it out in the end.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nastya knows for it to work out she has to do more than wait, but she’s so afraid. So she just lets herself absorb Ashes’ warmth and Ivy’s silent but protective comfort for the time being.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tim corners her before breakfast the next day and presses a large gun into her hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why the hell did you leave without a weapon on you? Take this. Kill Jonny with it as many times as will make you feel better. I feel better when I shoot Jonny.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks a little manic, like maybe he stayed up all night to modify this gun for her personally.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Tim.” Nastya smiles at him and presses a hand to his cheek and the set of his shoulders relaxes a bit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re staying this time, aren’t you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nastya nods. “I told you last night. It was a mistake for me to have left to begin with. You… all of you are my family.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tim nods enthusiastically and Nastya can’t help but laugh softly at his resemblance to an excitable puppy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I haven’t even blown up any part of Aurora since you’ve been gone!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She laughs in earnest this time, though she does seriously appreciate his playing nicely with Aurora.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Tim.” She repeats. “I think you might need to get some rest.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yeaah</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I should do that.” Tim nods and claps her on the shoulder and he totters past, presumably to go collapse into bed and sleep off a hard night’s work. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Nastya doesn’t think she’s ever seen the Toy Soldier quite so excited, which is, frankly, awe-inspiring and a little frightening. It practically vibrates out of its seat across from Marius when it sees her enter the common area.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Princess! I Am So Delighted To See You’ve Returned! I Missed You!” It jumps up and grabs her by the hand, guiding her over to the card table it had been sat at. It sits her down in its vacated seat across from Marius and pulls up a new chair for itself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please! Play With Us!” It snatches the cards Marius is holding out of his hands and reshuffles the deck to deal her in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nastya has no idea what they were playing, but it’s a good enough distraction to get her mind off of things. It feels… </span>
  <em>
    <span>normal</span>
  </em>
  <span> to settle back into the old feeling of competition with Marius and camaraderie with the Toy Soldier.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Toy Soldier wins in the end, but both Nastya and Marius are practically in tears from laughing so hard, so it doesn’t really matter who won. The Toy Soldier seems very pleased with itself to see its friends having fun.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The raucous laughter dies down after a few seconds and the silence that follows is surprisingly comfortable. Marius breaks it by placing a hand over hers… his left hand, not his mechanism, so she can feel his warmth and slight calluses on his fingertips that would match the ones on her own left hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I missed you, you know. I know our relationship was… weird, before. But when you were gone I realized how much you </span>
  <em>
    <span>challenged</span>
  </em>
  <span> me. In a good way, not, like, ‘oh lord she’s testing me.’ More like you pushed me to do better. To try to catch up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nastya laughs a little and gives his hand an awkward pat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m… surprised. I was thinking you of all people would have been happy to see me gone.” She tries for a joking tone but it comes out a little more serious than she wants.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marius just shakes his head. “Hell no. It’s not the same without you, Nastya.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There’s a newcomer on the ship. Nastya had been too caught up in the whirlwind of emotions that came with her homecoming, but she notices now. Hard not to notice them when she literally almost stumbles over their legs, which are sticking out of a floor vent. They slide themself out to look at her in surprise. They’re holding a wrench and have a couple of smudges of grease on their face. They’ve been fixing her ship. That shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Someone</span>
  </em>
  <span> had to look after Aurora while she was gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um. Hello.” Their voice is hesitant and Nastya realizes she’s been staring.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello. You’re… you’re taking care of her?” She tries to keep her voice steady.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes. Sorry, I should, um. I’m Lyf. Lyfrassir Edda. I’m, um. The bosun now? I guess?” They wipe some grease from their hands and hold one out for her to shake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nastya Rasputina. E-engineer.” She can’t stop her voice from cracking a little bit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I know. She’s told me all about you.” Lyf smiles. “She missed you something awful.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nastya tries not to let her hopes get too high when they say that. “She did? She… she hasn’t talked to me since I got back on board.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lyfrassir huffs a small laugh. “Who do you think let you back in?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The revelation hits her like a sack of bricks to the chest. Of course it was her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You two have become close.” It would be rude to leave in the middle of a conversation, no matter how much she wants to run to the heart of the ship.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lyfrassir shrugs. “Hard not to. She’s the least annoying person of the lot of you. Don’t worry though, we’re strictly platonic, of course. We’ve bonded over our mutual attraction to violinists.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nastya laughs and if it’s more of a sob then Lyfrassir doesn’t acknowledge it. Instead, they just smile at her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She wants to talk to you. She’s been waiting until you’re ready.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She doesn’t need any more incentive than that. She doesn’t even realize she’s started running until she reaches the core of the ship, the core of </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span> ship, the heart of her Aurora. Everything is still quiet behind the door to her heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nastya presses her forehead to the cool metal, rests her hand on the door as the mercury thrums through her veins.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry, my love.” She barely whispers it, but she knows Aurora can hear. She knows she understands. “I should never have left. I should have thought more about it. You’ve changed, of course. But so have I. So have all of us. Hell, when I first met Jonny, he wouldn’t have touched me with a ten foot pole! But you saw how he launched himself at me when he realized it was me.” Nastya is crying but she can’t help but laugh a little through her tears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There is a soft hum from behind the door. An invitation. Nastya turns the knob and pushes the door open.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve changed while I was gone, too, I’m sure. But that’s okay, Love. I changed too. We just have to get to know each other again. And we have so much time to do that now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The hum is louder now, growing until it’s almost deafening and the joy she’s radiating from her pipes and her bolts makes Nastya want to dance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too, Aurora. I love you so much. Every piece of you. Old and new.”</span>
</p>
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